Sunday, April 30, 2006

Rock Bottom

I had it out with cake today, and it wasn't pretty. I will never eat cake again... in fact there are probably a lot of things I won't eat any more.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Chain Link

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to climb over a chainlink fence. I won't go into the motivations too deeply, except to say that my keys were on the other side. This is the second time I've had to scale this fence in the past six months. It is a ten foot, standard chain link fence. The first time I did it I had the assistance of a chair and it took me about 20 minutes, and several attempts. Lots of bruises later, I made it to the other side.
When I scaled the fence yesterday, I not only reduced my time to about a couple of minutes, but I did it without the aid of a chair, and accomplished it on my first attempt. Seems that I have the same amount of bruising though.
The point of this fence-climbing (besides getting my keys)... I now know that chainlink is a transversable obstacle, and moreover, an obstacle that might slow the zombie menace enough for me to prepare an offensive strike.
I can sleep a little easier tonight.

Food today:
1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
1 banana
1 pickle
1/4 cup trail mix
2 slices vegetable pizza
mushroom sandwich
3/4 cup of potato chips
1/2 a strawberry milkshake.

No exercise.. weekend...

Advice of the Day: Know your limitations, and know how to circumvent them.

Thursday, April 27, 2006


Chainsaws have been popularized in zombie films as a handy weapon. Evil Dead I & II and Army of Darkness are one series of examples. Of course, Ash was fighting Deadites, and not true zombies, but Bruce Campbell is dreamy, so I'll forgive him for convoluting the popular image of the zombie.
However, the chainsaw is ineffective on many levels. As pointed out in the Zombie Survival Guide: it is large and unwieldy; it requires fuel to run; it is just as likely to injure the wielder than the vicitm- a fact demonstrated in Dawn of the Dead (of course Mr. Campbell circumvented this fate by using the chainsaw as a prosthetic arm); and it's extremely (dramatic) loud rumble is sure to attract more of the living dead (pages 37-38, "Power Tools"). So spare yourself the impending, accident, dismemberment, and back trouble, and go with a lightweight, easy to wield, non-fueled weapon, like the proverbial Machete.

The usual:
1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
2 bananas
1/2 cup of trail mix
1 apple
1 slice of banana bread
1 Tuscan noodle dish (it was really good!)
1/2 chocolate chip cookie

40 minutes on the elliptical ("Cross training 3")
1/2 mile run
1/2 mile walk

Advice of the Day: Just because zombies don't have higher reasoning skills, do not EVER underestimate what they are capable of.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Super Workout

Today I envisioned kicking zombie ass while I worked out. I kept on reminding myself of the greater good, and the goals that I was working towards. When I was running, I pretended there was a gruesome crowd of the undead behind me (I also pretended that I was running in a semi-straight line, instead of around a track). Here is the summary:

40 minutes on "Total Body Workout", and I increased the resistance.
1 mile run
1/2 mile walk
20 minutes on weights

BAM! I should be able to decapitate a zombie with my bare hands in no time!

Food Intake:
1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
1 banana
1 fruit leather
1/2 cup of trail mix
1 apple
1 slice of banana/flaxseed bread
2 eggs (scrambled)
1 english muffin with rhubarb jam

Advice of the Day:
A great workout is usually qualified by an especially sore time the next day. Remember, zombies don't feel pain... neither should you.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Karate.... not yet.

I tried to sign up for Karate today. It's a summer session which starts on May 21st and goes through August. Apparently, my preparation for the zombie menace is a little too anticipatory. Sign-up is not available for at least 2 more weeks. I explained that this martial arts training is critical, and signing up is the first step towards attaining this very important, zombie disabling skill. The girl at the counter just told me to come back later. Hopefully, the class will not fill up too quickly in response to the impending zombie threat.
I hesitate to begin learning martial arts on my own. These are skills which require training, and most of all correction. If I begin, there will be no corrective element, mostly likely causing me to learn manuevers improperly, and having not only to re-learn, but also de-learn. This will take valuable preparation time which could be used to further my skills. I will hold off until I can attend a class with a professional, master karate person (hopefully, part of the training will be about the proper title for the big karater teacher).
In the meantime, I will continue my search for elements of my arsenal.

1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
1 apple
1 fruit leather (cherry)
1/2 cup of trail mix
1 16 oz. smoothie (Starburst- not the candy, mostly mango and banana)
1 veggie burger with cheese
3 small corns on the cob (approx. 3/4 cup of corn)

40 minutes on the "Total Body Interval" elliptical machine setting.
1/2 mile walk

Link of the Day:
Zombie Action Figures
For those who cannot afford My Pet Zombies, terror on a smaller scale.

Monday, April 24, 2006


The overpopulation of humans is ripe for the Solanum virus. The fact that there are so many people would quickly result in a whole lotta zombies. We are essentially ensuring our own doom. Everyone needs to consider this before having children. Are you prepared to train your young ones to survive, or are you merely providing fodder for the zombie menace?

It is never too early to start training. Even reading zombie bedtime stories will help indoctrinate a natural fear of the undead. Of course the Zombie Survival Guide is an excellent teaching tool for older children. And you should start introducing your child to weaponry early on, incase they should have to fend for themselves. Remember, you have to tell them how to handle the situation if their loved ones are infected!

Today's efforts:
1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
2 bananas
1 apple
1/2 cup of trail mix
2 fruit leathers
3 pieces of pineapple pizza
2 breadsticks

Ok, pizza isn't exactly getting back on the wagon, but it's a start.

40 minutes on "Total Body Interval" mode on the elliptical machine
1/2 mile jog
1/2 mile walk

The jogging has been good for me. It proves that using the elliptical machine has practical applications. I use the elliptical machine because it is low-impact and exercises a greater portion of my body in a shorter time. However, I want to know that I can outrun a zombie (or bloodthirsty pack of zombies), with actual running.

Advice of the Day: Zombies do not JUST eat brains. Their appetites include the entire human body.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Falling off the Wagon

Ok, so I have been in a dedicated mental state this weekend. I have been researching anatomy so as to find the most efficient way to kill zombies. I have been researching weapons, and developing a list so as to prepare my arsenal for the end of days. I have been trying to desensitize myself to the horrific nature of the living dead. BUT...

Physically, I have fallen off the wagon. Ok, it's only been since Friday since I last worked out, but it feels like ages, not to mention my eating habits... I haven't given into my ultimate weakness, cake, however, perhaps as a means of compensating I have given into all other sorts of sweets. So on that note here's the stats for today:

1 cup of muesli
1 banana
1 cup of milk
1 apple
1/2 cup of trail mix
a chunk of beer battered blooming onion (really bad, but oh so good)
1/2 portobella sandwich
some fries
1/2 a small Dairy Queen blizzard.

And on that note, I resolve to return my eating habits to their previous healthier state. The last thing I need when the zombie menace descends is an unfortunate junk food addiction (and the pot belly that slows me down).

Advice of the Day: NEVER GIVE IN!!!

Friday, April 21, 2006

Zombie Beheading

If you cut off a zombie's head, this will not kill it. I was thinking about this for the better part of the day...
It still seems like a good idea because:
1)Severing the head immobilizes the body. Zombie anatomy is human anatomy and they too need the connection from brain to extremity to convey movement. The body is the primary dangerous part of the zombie, as it is what grabs and holds.
2)The neck is structurally weak spot on the body. The brain is encased in a hard bone shell, whereas the spinal cord is not completely encased in the vertebrae, it is not solid bone and therefore has a weaker core structure allowing for easier access to the spinal column.
3)Once the head is removed this should make piercing the skull in order to damage the brain simpler. A singular head is not a very mobile target, which should allow for more precise aim (say through the eye socket)necessitating less strength from the zombie hunter. This method is also less likely to break the weapon being used.

There are several things to remember with the above scenario...
1)This method requires a cutting weapon. If your primary weapon is a bludgeon, or if your blade is dull, DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS MANEUVER.
2)This method is best when applied to a single zombie. When faced with a large number of zombies, different measures must be taken to ensure survival. As this method is rather time consuming, it would most likely result in a fatality (and consequent zombieism).
3)Despite the removal of the head from the body, the head is still quite dangerous on its own. Its compromised state may allow for overconfidence on the part of the hunter, which in turn, may allow the zombie to strike unexpectedly.
4)This method may prove practical in allowing novice hunters to become desensitized to the horrors of zombie killing. However, as always, novices should also be supervised by a more qualified individual.

Onto my efforts:

1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
2 bananas
1 apple
pasta with parmesan
2 pieces of french bread with butter
1/2 cup of nut mix
2 bites of a croissant

Hardcore today!
40 minutes on the "Total Body Interval" mode on the elliptical machine.
Jogged for 1/2 mile
Walked for 1/2 mile
Weight Training (upper body focus)

Advice of the Day: Destroy, don't think. Overthinking takes up valuable zombie slaughtering time.

Thursday, April 20, 2006


A Confession:
I am hopelessly addicted to suger... most often in the form of cake. I have been craving cake like crazy this whole week. I don't want to give in to my urges because:
1)Cake will most likely make me sick, or at the very least extremely lethargic, thus more prone to zombie attack.
2)There will be direct evidence of how week-willed I can be. If I can't even stand up to Cake, how can I deliver my loved ones from the zombie menace?
3)If the zombies find out how I think frosting flowers are pretty, I'll never live it down.

So no cake.

Here's what I ate instead:
1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
1 banana
1 16oz smoothie (starburst)
1 hard-boiled egg
1/2 cup of trail mix
1 fruit leather (strawberry)
1 cranberry/apple muffin
1 cup of salad
1/2 cup of trail mix
5 potato chips

And here's how I burned it off:
40 minutes on "Total Body Interval" on the elliptical (3.6 miles) and 1/2 mile walk cooldown.

On a side note I've only lost one pound since I started this. However, I think I have gained quite a bit of muscle, so it balances out.

Tomorrow I get another identifying mark.

Advice of the Day: To fight zombies, one needs an iron will, determined to live no matter what.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006


1 cup muesli
1 cup milk
1 banana
1 stalk of celery with peanut butter
1 apple
1/2 cup trail mix
3 slices of spinach pizza
1/2 cup of trail mix
1 banana

40 minutes of "Cross Country" on the elliptical machine. It was too much... I am tired. If zombies invaded tonight, they might get the drop on me. I'm sleeping with the crowbar next to the bed, and a knife under my pillow. Sure it will be a steak knife, but it will have to do until I get my machete.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Weapons Consideration

I feel that I should obtain at least one weapon soon, in case the zombie menace closes in sooner than expected. Since I have yet to fire a real gun (BB guns don't count), perhaps a gun is not the best first weapon. I'm thinking I'm going to get something in the way of a bladed weapon. I haven't yet had my martial arts training, so a katana is out of the question for now. I'd probably be more likely to hurt myself than a zombie with a katana. A machete is a very appealing choice for me. Shorter than a katana, It should prove easier to wield without self injury, plus it is Brooks' top choice for a bladed weapon for novices (pg. 34). So I am in the market for a machete...

I guess my statement about having one weapon is unfounded, because I do keep a crowbar in my trunk. However, at 18" long, it is kind of heavy, and I have a feeling that I would not be as accurate as I would need to be. Perhaps I should practice on a "dummy" zombie until I get my machete. In the meantime, "Captain Pryey" can serve many other useful purposes should the army of the undead threaten. I have a feeling that breaking into secure places may be a priority in order to find shelter.

Food and Training:

1 cup muesli
1 cup milk
1 banana
1 16oz Smoothie
3/4 trail mix
1 hard-boiled egg
1 vegetable pita
1 cup of french fries

30 minutes on "Cross Country 3". This consists of a variety of inclines which is very practical in the field. However, this workout was tough, I was only able to do 2.6 miles (in the allotted time) versus my normal 2.9.

Advice of the Day: The best weapon is a balance between accuracy and force.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Easter thoughts

Ok, this is a day late, but I forgot to wish everyone a Happy Zombie Day!
Clearly, the Christian faith is a pro-zombie faith. Not only is the messiah a zombie but he even made other zombies before becoming a zombie himself... Think about it...

In other news I found this exam which tests your mental preparedness for dealing with a near total zombie state, The Zombie Scenario Survivor Test.
I scored a little over 80%, which is decent... I guess that's about what I should be at this point in my training. By the time I am done training however, I expect to score 100% and be a hardcore, cold-blooded zombie destroying machine.

Progress was made today, thusly:

1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
1.5 bananas
1 apple
1 hardboiled egg
3/4 cup trail mix
1 fake turkey sandwich
1 cup of organic cheetos
1/4 cup trail mix

30 minutes, again on the "Total Body Interval"- clearly my favorite setting, but I upped the resistence to "4" from "1", so a much harder workout.... and the customary 1/2mile cool down walk.

Picture of the day:

Sunday, April 16, 2006

New Do

As promised, here is a picture of my new zombie-ass-kicking haircut:

On the plus side, it is quite easy to take care of, on the downside, in our current pre-apocalyptic state there are some strange looks flying around. But we'll see who is dragged to their certain doom by their hair in the end.
You can see some of my identifying marks in this photograph. keep in mind, these tattoos are purely for identification purposes, not body decoration.

My diet has been somewhat better today:

1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
1 banana
1 apple
2 eggs
3/4 cup of trail mix
1 oreo cupcake (let's just say that this product may be partially responsible for my lack of meal posting yesterday)
1 mushroom and pepper sandwich with provolone (which is the best thing I've eaten in a long, long time).

No exercise today, other than banal chores. But since you never know when the zombie menace will be upon us, it is always important to have clean clothes.

Advice of the Day: Never, for a second, think that a zombie can be rehabilitated to be some kind of useful member of society. There is only one cure, death (again).

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Big Steps

Today was a huge step towards my zombie defense training:

Tight Clothes and Short Hair
"Hair can be a similar hazard. Many times, victims have been seized and even dragged by their hair to a gruesome end. Tying one's hair back before a conflict may work temporarily. However, a short haircut, one inch or shorter, is ideal for hand-to-hand combat" pg.62-63 (please see illustration on 63)

Making a commitment for my close-quarters training, I have shorn my hair to the length of 3/8 of an inch. Pictures to come later.

However, with such a huge step forward, there was a small step back.... I will not detail my diet for today as it was rather counterproductive.

Regarding my vaccinations yesterday, I received both the Hep B Vaccine and the Measles, Mumps and Rubella vaccine. Neither protects against Solanum, as the nurse (different from last time) informed me. This nurse seemed to be quite aware of the impending zombie threat and said that there has been no further progress on a Solanum vaccine, largely due to lack of funding, and lack of public support. However, she did remind me that preventing other viruses can be extremely beneficial in close and less-than-sanitary quarters.

Tips for the day: Get caught up on vaccinations! Shave that head!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Flabby to Fit

It occurs to me that I should have some sort of "before" picture... so here goes:

This is an unflattering picture of me before I became aware of the zombie menace. Carefree... on vacation... and not very physically fit...

That's gonna change. Soon I will be a hardened warrior ready to destroy the undead threat that dares oppose the (living) human race!!!

On to more banal details:
1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
1 banana
1 blueberry bagel with raspberry cream cheese
2 slices of banana bread
1 apple
1 cup of muesli (why only have it for breakfast)
1 cup of milk
1 banana

It was a rather calorie ridden day, but I think it burned off with all of the hustling I did today. Plus 40 minutes on the elliptical machine, with customary 1/2 mile cool down.

And for anyone who missed it:
My Pet Zombies
The Ultimate in Horror desensitazation!

Thursday, April 13, 2006


I think my biceps are bigger... I don't really know how that happened. As much as I want to be prepared for the zombie menace, I don't want to be some muscle-bound freak. Just muscley enough to be nimble and able to fight off an attack.
And I have definitely lost weight... at least a couple of pounds.... which should help with the nimble part.

1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
1 banana
16 oz "lots o' berries" smoothie
1/2 raw trail mix
1/4 cup of cashews
1 Boca spicy chicken sandwich
10 BBQ fries

40 minutes of "Total Body Interval" on the elliptical machine
1/2 mile cool down walk

Odd Note of the Day: I have several tattoos that may function as identifying marks (if worse comes to worst).

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


I'm starting to feel like I have the physical training a little more under control. I am definitely in much better shape... I don't get tired going up stairs, or when I practice sprinting from the undead.
It's getting close to the time to start some offensive training. I want to wait until I am a little more physically fit (again, provided that I will not have to engage with the zombie faction for atleast a couple of months). Right now, I am planning on taking a karate class over the summer, because as Master Brooks says, "Study and master atleast one martial art" (pg. 30). Granted one does not want to participate in a hand-to-hand combat situation with a zombie, however, should the situation arise, one would be very grateful for the training.

Food and Training:

1 cup of muesli
1 cup of milk
1 banana
1 apple
1/2 cup raw trail mix
3 slices of pizza (leftovers from last night)
1 pack of Florida's Natural Juice Nuggets (orange)

30 minutes on "Total Body Interval" on the elliptical machine, and a half-mile cool down walk.

Advice of the Day: Despite their diminished mental capacity, the undead will immediately recognize the living, so imitating zombies to move amongst their midst does NOT work.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Physical Exam and other Weirdness

Today, I had a physical, more or less the general sort. The nurse was most confused about the goals of my physical. Summary of conversation:

Nurse: So why do you want a physical today?
Me: I'm trying to anticipate a physically active state necessary for fending off the zombie menace.
Nurse: hmmmm..... what?
Me: You know, I want to make sure that I am physically fit, so when the undead army reigns in a post-apocalyptic hell-on-Earth scenario, I can be primed and ready for survival.... (I continued to describe the post-apocalyptic wasteland populated by zombies in various states of decay).

The nurse seemed to not think that the zombie menace was a serious threat. I didn't seem to be able to convince her that she should also prepare. I concluded that, in the end, there would be more food and water for me.

Ultimately, she concluded that I was physically healthy, though I need to follow up with a cholesterol check-up. I am also scheduled to receive a Hepititis B vaccination on Friday. I asked if this vaccination would help protect against a Solanum infection, but the nurse apparently didn't hear me. I will presue this further with another nurse when I actually receive the vaccination. If this "hepatitis B" shot doesn't protect against Solanum, perhaps they have another vaccination for that...

In the meantime, I managed to misplace my food consumption log, so this is my best attempts at reconstructing today's intake:

1 cup muesli
1 cup milk
1 banana
1 apple
1 16oz. smoothie
1/2 cup trail mix
2 pieces of bread
3 slices of pizza

Did 30 minutes on the "Manual" setting of the elliptical machine, which is what I was doing before my pre-emptive zombie defense measures. Much to my surprise, I have improved substantially on my previous workout. I was able to up the resistence significantly, as well as covering a larger distance. This was all followed by a 1/2 mile walk.

Advice of the Day: Remember to Sleep. It is important, zombies or no zombies.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Long Day

Today was full of exhaustive office procedures, that, hopefully when the zombie menace threatens, I won't have to deal with any more. (Remember: Always look on the bright side)

1 cup muesli
1 cup milk
3 bananas
1 apple
1/2 cup granola
1 stick of celery with peanut butter
4 crackers with swiss
1/2 cup raw nut mix

I did 33 minutes on the stationary bike in "Rocky Mountain" mode. Ran for a mile and walked an additional mile. At this point it was too much exercise.

Advice of Evening: Remember, you may have to shoot those you love, should they turn. It is better to be dead than undead.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

As predicted, there were many inaccuracies in Dawn of the Dead. For me, the most notable being the newer "fast-paced zombie". I first noticed the fast zombie in 28 Days Later, which is technically not about zombies, but commonly confused with them. Since the creatures in 28 Days Later are still alive, and able to maintain muscle coordination, as well as not suffering the lingering effects of rigormortis, it is conceivable that they should be able to run at a normal human pace. No doubt, the fast zombie, continued in Dawn of the Dead is purely a filmic creation. It is interesting that the latest Romero installment in the "of the Dead" series, Land of the Dead returns to the realistic slow-moving zombie.

Regardless, watching Dawn of the Dead before going to bed should ensure the nestling of zombies in my unconscious, thus helping me prepare in a subliminal, subconscious way. Hopefully, I will kick ass in my dreams.

Food and Exercise Details:
1 cup muesli
1 cup milk
1 banana
1 apple
1 cup organic cheetos
1 cup black bean soup
a small bit of sourdough bread
1 cup of milk

1 mile walk with dog resistance training

Saturday, April 08, 2006

4/8/06 slump

I think I'm in a training slump. It's not that I'm not motivated, but rather that I feel I need to be doing more, like rousing public consciousness of the zombie menace, I mean c'mon, this is seriously worse than carbon monoxide poisoning, and everyone knows about that.

Speaking of the general public and their faulty knowledge of zombies, I didn't get a chance to pick Dawn of the Dead today, but I hope to get it tomorrow, and post my zombie review here.

Here is a cool website that provides a simulation for the spread of the zombie infection: ZOMBIE INFECTION SIMULATION, clearly a good tool for predicting the spread across populations. It even makes accommodations for panicked humans (although the human behavior seems inaccurate at best). I've never been so excited about a bunch of specks in my life.

Finally, today's rather unimpressive training regimen:
1 cup muesli
2 bananas
1 cup milk
1 cup tortilla chips with salsa
1 tortilla (approx. 8")
3 bites of a cheese enchilada (it wasn't very good)
1 sweet corn cake (about 1/4 cup)
1/4 cup black beans
2 bits of broccoli
5 baby carrots
4 crackers with cheese
1 & 1/2 vegan chocolate cupcake (a little caffeine never hurt reaction time)
1/4 cup raspberry custard
1/4 cup white wine (which probably counteracted the caffeine)
1 cup salad

I took a three mile walk with my dog, who in some ways acts as a resistance trainer... she certainly helped my upper body strength.

Advice for the day:
Pets are usually a hindrance in a zombie invasion. Rather than providing a discreet alarm, they may panic and actually attract more zombies. If you love your pets you will protect them like a family member, rather than use them as a hunting tool.

Friday, April 07, 2006


I am tired. Zombie Defense Training is hard, but well worth the benefits.

Good ol' elliptical machine again today, on "Total Body Workout" mode, 30 minutes. Then a 1 mile walk for a cool down.

1 cup muesli
1 cup milk
1 banana
1 apple
1/2 cup granola
celery with peanut butter (are we seeing a pattern yet?)
mac and cheese with broccoli and tomatoes
2 donut holes

This weekend I will try to rent the new version of Dawn of the Dead for training and entertainment purposes. Not that the original isn't good, but the zombies in the second one seem more threatening... better make-up (sorry Tom Savini, but you only get better with time).

Of course I realize that this is a fictional account of the spread of the Solanum infection, however, I like to be aware of artistic interpretations of actual events (pg. 23). However, it is extremely important to note that one should always remember that the entertainment value comes foremost, while factual information may be skewed or untrue.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

The Pet Zombie

I found this great website today: My Pet Zombie. I figure I'll get one of these, probably the tongue one (it freaks me out the most), and I'll position it above my bed so it's the first thing I see when I wake up. That ought to desensitize me pretty quickly... if I don't have a heart attack first.

$399 seems like a lot to spend on a "novelty" item... but it may save your life by allowing you to keep your cool.

Also, what's with them all wearing suits? Is it to imply that the first to fall to the ghoul menace will be businessmen? Maybe it is implying that businessmen are already zombies. I may have to do some research to see which groups are more likely to turn first.

Diet Today:
1 cup muesli
1 cup milk
1 banana
2 fruit leathers
1 apple
1/2 cup granola (cranberry and apple)
celery with peanut butter
pineapple pizza
1 bread stick
1 diet coke

Admittedly, not the healthiest meal this week, but I figure I should enjoy my pineapple pizza while I still can. After the zombies rise up, pizza might be a hot commodity, especially pineapple pizza (since I seem to be the only person alive who enjoys it).

I did 30 minutes on the elliptical machine in "Cross Country" mode, to practice escaping from the undead on uneven terrain. Then the standard 1/2 mile walk cool down. I plan on starting resistance training soon. I am currently reading up on it to make for a better and, hopefully, less harmful workout.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Diet and Exercise 4/5/06

Today I consumed:
1 cup muesli
1 cup organic milk
1 banana
1 apple
1/2 cup apple/cranberry granola
1 stalk of celery with peanut butter
2 eggs, scrambled
1 english muffin with rhubarb jam.
lots of water

Today I did the "Cross Country" mode of the elliptical machine for 30 minutes, followed by walking a half-mile on the track. I tried to picture being chased by zombies while on the elliptical machine to motivate my workout. It wasn't effective.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

1st Physical Results and Exercise Plan

Today, I had my body fat percentage measured, and an exercise regimen prescribed.
These are the results:

Height: 66.25"
Weight: 141 pounds
Fat Weight: 49.3 pounds (35% of total weight)
Lean Weight: 91.7 pounds (65% of total weight)

This indicates that I have a slightly, unhealthily high body fat percentage; (23-30%) is considered healthy. Unfortunately, this also meansthat the zombies will have quite the meal when I am consumed (as I will inevitably be in my current state).

In order to adequately escape/evade the zombie menace, I need to reduce my body fat percentage to 29% (or a 6% loss over 6 months) without losing any muscle mass.
In order to present a viable threat to the zombie menace, I need to reduce my body fat percentage to 23% (or a 12% loss over 6 months) without losing any muscle mass.

Exercise Plan:
Do 30 minutes of cardiac exercise, 5 times a week. This exercise should vary, elliptical machines are acceptable as they provide a variety of workouts (though alas, no "zombie escape terrain variation")stair machines and treadmills are also acceptable.
Gradually add in Resistance training. This helps build muscle which in turn will make me a more effective zombie eradicator.

In addition, I am modifying my diet. I am already a vegetarian, because I do not want to risk animal to human transference of the Solanum virus. Even though zombie expert, Max Brooks, denies the threat (pg. 4), I prefer not to take the chance. While my couch potato diet consisted of primarily junk food (as is entirely appropriate for that lifestyle), my new diet will be wholesome and nutritive, designed to maximize my zombie defense training.

Today, I consumed:
1 cup muesli
1 banana
1 hard boiled egg
1 apple
1 peanut butter granola bar
1/2 nutrient bar
1 stalk of celery with peanut butter
1 bowl of black bean soup
small portion of sourdough bread
lots of water

I exercised on the "total body workout" mode of the elliptical machine for 30 minutes, followed by walking a half-mile on the treadmill.

Zombie Preparation:
Reviewed "The Undead: Myths and Realities" from The Zombie Survival Guide, pages 1-25.

Advice of the Day: Solanum cannot animinate already dead tissue, it has to infect living human tissue. Therefore, cemetaries can be potenially safe resting points.