Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Flu Shots

I am going to preface this post by saying I am not a medical doctor...

I will probably never get a flu shot. I haven't gotten the flu since I was about ten. There are so many varieties of flu going around that it is hard to pinpoint the specific one to vaccinate against. If the flu even exists... Regardless, the exposure to an injection is an unnecessary risk.

And it's not just the health risks. If an evil over-reaching government (or corporation, or some combination), decided to subject certain areas of the population to the zombie virus, the flu shot may be the ideal carrier.

Think about it. Usually specific factions of the population are subjected to their flu shots before others. The elderly, the young, the infirm; all high-risk groups. Any deaths can easily be attributed to other causes such as pneumonia, mononucleousis, and pre-existing causes. Of course, any "failed" tests will quickly be covered up and all rumors squashed. If tests are successful, they may go on to test other populations, which may, in turn, be covered up with "natural" disasters.

However, this general paranoia will not stop me from taking other preventative measures. I have a healthy stock of citrus and vitamins (made by non-evil corporations). I also trying to avoid large gatherings of people, and generally avoid touching anything in public.

So until they hold me down and force me to take the flu vaccine, there will be no flu shots for me.

Sunday, October 29, 2006


It's Halloween in a couple of days; the holiday that tends to encourage, or at the very least neglect the zombie menace. Granted, it's all done in the interest of fun and games, and the people dressed as zombies mean no harm. Still it is wrong to pass up this opportunity to educate the greater public.

Lots of areas had trick-or-treating this weekend, including my secured abode. I gave out candy to eager children last night, but I also gave out advice for the upcoming apocalypse, when the dead rise and walk the earth seeking out fresh flesh to dine on. It wasn't my intention to scare children, but I believe that it is never too early to start zombie education. So I kept the advice simple and practical: always have a flashlight, don't talk to strangers (ironic, isn't it?), don't let anyone bite you, even if they're your friend.

I hope this holiday, everyone is a little safer and little more well-prepared.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Group Dynamics

I should clarify my last post.
It is probably always better to be in a small group, both as a protective measure and also as a means to keep sane. However, if your group is more likely to kill you in your sleep or lure zombies to you, it's better to split off. If all your group does is make annoying quips about your gender, it's probably not serious enough to go out on your own.

That said, pig-headedness is not a valuable quality during the zombie apocalypse. Everyone should be willing to put aside their personal desires in the interest of the greatest chance of survival. Of course, this opinion may vary from individual to individual, but the best groups won't let their feelings get in the way of making a good decision. Logic and clear-thinking in the face of danger are probably the best survival tools.

No group will be perfect, but the best group will be dedicated to survival.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Post Feminist Zombie Stance

In response to Justin's sexist comments, a Y-chromosome shouldn't make a difference in the resistance to the zombie menace. Training, resourcefulness, physical ability, and general attitude will have a much greater effect on the potential for survival than a person's gender. However, if you are in a group that places emphasis on gender (28 Days Later, despite its non-zombie-ness, makes a good point of this) things could quickly become destructive, or at the very least, non-productive.
So, Justin, good luck to you and Hayes during the zombie apocalypse. My machetes and I will find a more cohesive group.

In response to Grand 'Poon's more practical comments. I've already invested in a back up pair of glasses, with the intention of getting at least a couple more pairs, and maybe some contact lenses. Your idea for goggles is good too. Goggles are a good protective measure to take, especially in close-quarters fighting, where the potential of splatterage and eye absorption is great.

In other news, I've finally started up a Cafepress store. There is absolutely no profit being made (by me anyway) on these objects, my only goal is to spread awareness. I hope to get a few shirt designs and other stuff on there soon.

Zombie Defense Training Store

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Lasik Surgery

As you can see from my "good news, good shoes" post a few days ago... I wear glasses. I wish I could say that they were just to give me the "nerdy-sheik" look, however, my vision is exceptionally bad. This causes me special concern, especially with the impending zombie threat. If my glasses were to break, I'd basically be zombie fodder. Unless I develop skills like the blind ninja-demon in Ninja Scroll.

I've been considering Lasik surgery, simply because I won't have to rely on my glasses, but I have certain reservations especially concerning the combination of "laser" and "eyes". So I'm doing my research, and perhaps in the near future, I will be making a serious investment in my survival.

However, maybe the money would be better spent on a serious gun and some more firearms training?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Difference Between Understanding and Doing

Today, in Karate, I had a bit of a revelation. The concepts of Karate, and most other martial arts, is that you use your weight and leverage in combination with the laws of physics to overtake your opponent. When moves are explained to me, they make complete sense, but actually performing them is another matter entirely.

Thus, the importance of practice. Practice is the art of making your physical self obey your mental understanding, without actually thinking about anything. I have a long way to go.

Regarding yesterday's post: My tabi are actually quite comfortable. They are a little on the snug side because they still need to be broken in, but I'll be stealthing like a real ninja in no time.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Good News, Good Shoes

After my depressing post yesterday, I have some good news, my ninja tabi arrived in the mail today!!!

So I decided to do some practice sneaking.

And I even broke out the machete for good measure.

Beware zombies! You're never going to hear me coming...
In the meantime, I will be sneaking up on everyone I know, and probably some people I don't.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Max Brooks, how could you?

I've been reading Max Brooks' follow-up to The Zombie Survival Guide, World War Z. While I am less than thrilled with his fictional take on the future war between zombies and humans, I am even less thrilled with his interviews regarding the second book.
Take, for example, these interview quotes from Brooks (the emphasis is mine),

"Everything in World War Z (as in The Zombie Survival Guide) is based in reality... well, except the zombies." (link).
"...I wanted to create a world that if there were zombies, this is how you would actually survive." (link)

Thank you, Mr. Brooks for completely invalidating any statements you've made regarding zombies. How can somebody claim to be an expert on real-life situations with subject, but then deny the subject's existence? Since Mr. Brooks goes around the country giving zombie defense seminars, the least he could do is believe in the zombie threat. Yet, in interview after interview, he undermines his own authority on the zombie menace, by reducing it to a fictional cause.

Some interviews:
Daniel Robert Epstein (Suicide Girls.com)
Ain't It Cool News

After pondering for over a week about how to react to this gross betrayal, I have this to say:
Max Brooks may not believe in the zombie menace, but at least his works of "fiction" have brought the menace to the public forefront. I only hope his latest work doesn't destroy this public attentiveness to the subject.
Regardless, I am still preparing to fight the good fight, and I hope this loss to the zombie hunter community doesn't change anyone's preparations to fight the undead hordes.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The Means of the Zombie Virus

In response to Verloren's comments about the source of the zombie virus...

This is the primary vehicle for the zombie virus in Night of the Living Dead. It would explain the spikes in the zombie menace throughout history. However, I have my doubts (yet, nothing definitive) about this method, since the extreme heat upon entry into the atmosphere would likely kill anything living.

Mutated Virus
The similarity to the Rabies virus (transmission through bites, the virus attacks the brain causing changes in behavior, etc) makes this a possibility. Of course, Rabies has yet to reanimate corpses.

Latent Human Virus
A variation on the mutated virus; this is a virus that has been around for a good portion of human existence, but for whatever reason has remained unactivated. Something (whether it be genetic or a mutation, or some combination) has allowed the virus to be activated through outside circumstances. However, I find this also to be unlikely because this would mean that certain individuals would have a resistance to the zombie virus. As of yet, no resistance has been documented.

These are just a few suggestions on an area that I have not researched as well as some other areas (such as weaponry). I welcome any additional theories.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Zombies as Metaphor

Wozgog brought up an important point: is the zombie menace a metaphor?

Everyone is welcome to make all of the associations that they want... the zombie menace (as a metaphor) can definitely apply to certain world problems. However, the zombie menace I refer to is the fleshing-eating, decaying, moaning, walking dead. A metaphor won't try to eat your innards. As scary as the current state of affairs is, it's not as scary as the impending necropalypse.

I should add that I'm not happy with American governance at the moment. The current desire for power is just the type of arrogance that will lead to dispersing the zombie virus as a means of control. And though I don't speak of the zombie menace in symbolic terms, there is a certain complacency now that makes the necropalypse an even more imminent threat.

So, in conclusion, when I talk about ramming my machete through the shallow remains of the decaying human skull that forms a measly defense for the zombies' only weak point, the brain, I mean it in the most literal sense possible.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Like Zombies...

How much must we become like zombies in order to deliver humankind from the zombie threat?

This is a topic I've been addressing a lot lately. Maybe it's just weighing heavily on my mind. I have to admit that a certain amount of humanity must be relinquished to be able to be an effective zombie hunter. The idea is to minimize that loss, and attempt to regain it after the zombie menace has been vanquished (should we be successful). However, there is always the danger of becoming what you hunt...

Zombies are mindless killing (and eating) machines. They have no will of their own, as well as no purpose. The zombie hunter is most effective when they do not consider their actions. Thought or remorse will hinder capability (a fatal flaw). Yet this same thoughtlessness is frighteningly parallel to the zombies. Though the zombie hunter possesses a will of their own because he/she chooses to fight the zombie menace, there is always the danger of becoming a depraved killing machine with the inability to distinguish between living and undead. Regarding the issue of purpose; once humankind falls (post-necropalypse), the purpose of our survival may become lost. The goal is to maintain hope, no matter how dire the circumstances, however seemingly hopeless they may be.

As I've mentioned before, consciousness of the potential for the loss of humanity in the face of impossible odds, is our only saving grace. It should never be forgotten.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Are they evil?


Even though I occasionally refer to zombies as the "evil undead", I don't think they are actually evil, and I feel the need to clarify. In my opinion, evilness is the result of intentional malevonence. The zombies and the virus that causes zombies has no thought process and therefore no intent and consequently, is not evil (by definition).

Despite the lack of evil, this is no reason to feel sympathy for the rising undead hordes. They are still incredibly bad for the human race, and a complete abomination. I still advocate putting them down as quickly as possible, with no remorse.

However, I will probably continue to use the misnomer, "evil undead", for dramatic effect.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Not zombies, but still important

I was reading XKCD, a web comic, and came across this gem:

While Randall Munroe specifically refers to Velociraptors, the same thought process (which I use every single waking moment) applies to zombies. So carefully observe your locations, wherever you may be, and take appropriate precautions.

Friday, October 13, 2006


I've noticed that my posts of late have been becoming more and more serious and depressing. After about seven months of posting, I think the gravity of the necropalypse has finally set in. This is probably a good point to be at because if the zombie menace strikes suddenly, I'm less likely to make stupid mistakes because of a cavalier attitude (or by using vinyl as a primary means of defense).

Despite this, it is important to have a means of diversion, if anything just not to go insane. Diversion should not confused with a lack of seriousness towards the situation, but rather just another means of preparation. In accordance with this, I have purchased the penultimate portable toy:

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Attitudes of violence

Does preparing for the zombie apocalypse make you a violent person? By preparing to destroy the brains of undead individuals, are you developing an insensitivity to violence?

These are some of the questions that I get asked regularly. I think this question goes hand in hand with the suggestion that video games make kids more violent and amoral. However, I can say with some authority, that I am not a violent person. I don't go out mugging people and breaking into cars, nor would I ever consider hurting someone who is not trying to cannibalize my flesh. However, I am constantly aware of my surroundings, and what can possibly be used in a situation where I need to defend myself. This is not inherently violent, rather a preventative measure.

It must be said that the act of destroying zombies is a violent one. The fact that they were once human makes it that much more confusing. However, I prefer to see the act of braining the undead menace as an act of compassion. You are both protecting the living and allowing the memory of that individual to rest. There is a huge difference between protection and seeking to create destructive violence. As long as this distinction is made in the mind of the zombie hunter, his/her morals are not in question.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Zombies as pets

Zombies are often shown in a captive state in films... Day of the Dead immediately comes to mind, but the conclusion to Shaun of the Dead is another good example. While this is typically done for dramatic purposes, or comedic purposes (as in Shaun of the Dead) it is actually a terrible idea.

The pride that seems come from scientific examination of a "live" specimen, inevitably leads to some serious oversight concluding with the death of all involved. There is no benefit from studying zombies that is worth the risk of keeping one (or more) captive. In a situation such as Day of the Dead the risks are particularly great because it takes place in a necropalyptic world. The scientist has good intentions, but his goals aren't conducive to destroying the zombie threat. All necessary knowledge of the zombie menace can be gained in the field, or the zombies' "natural environment", if you will.

In these pre-apocalyptic times, I am fairly certain that experimentation is going on with captive zombies. This very arrogance may lead to the eruption of the zombie uprising. There are limits to what can be done about this impending threat, but I urge any and all people who may have access to captive zombies to do what you can to destroy the menace in its individual form before it explodes into a world-wide threat.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Necropalypse Guilt?

Wozgog voiced an opinion which I have felt myself more than a few times. Why won't the zombie uprising just come already so I can put my hard-earned skills to work?

I don't think this emotion is wrong. You want to get to work ensuring the survival of the human race. By fighting zombies, you are making a measurable difference in the world. There is something to be said for feeling what it means to be alive by protecting that very survival. So often in this modern world our survival is obscured by all the insignificant details which preoccupy our thoughts. It is hard to make the connection between collating and filing and maintaining your existence. No one wants to see the dead rise and have to combat your way through wave after wave of animated corpses. However, day after day of training to save humanity makes you wonder when you will get to put your training to use.

So don't feel guilty about wishing for the necropalypse... it's not the end of the world you're wishing for, it's the chance to prove yourself...

Monday, October 09, 2006

Drunken Master?

I am enjoying a beer at the moment. I do not drink often, just a beer here and there, and never to get drunk. I do this, in part because I am a strong believer in moderation, but also because the zombie menace may strike at any moment and being drunk will severely hamper survival.

I'm sure there are people out there who will argue that alcohol may have a calming effect that may make you better able to deal with the horrors that lie ahead. However, the effects that alcohol has on balance, judgment, and perhaps, most importantly reaction time, make it a serious detriment in a post-apocalyptic warzone. In a zombie-run world, there is no such thing as a drunken master.

In these pre-necropalyptic times, enjoy alcohol for what it is... a tasty beverage. Don't over-imbibe, lest the zombies strike.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

New Punching Bag

I just picked up my first punching bag. It is a heavy weight, free-standing bag, about five feet tall. I need practice directing more force (more of my weight) at a target. It's difficult to do this just flailing in the air because it's very easy to hyper-extend and strain muscles (which I have lots of experience with). Now I have something with which I can feel the weight of my strike.

I'll be testing for my next belt soon, I think. Hopefully, this will allow me to approve sustantially.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Entertainment Value

While throwing records may not be effective, it is entertaining. I was thinking of using them in a scenario like in Dawn of the Dead (2004) when they are sniping the zombies from the top of the gun shop. It's an aggressive action done from a safe location. The purpose is to pass the time, not an attempt to effectively reduce the zombie swarms. And I wouldn't suggest throwing good vinyl... just the stuff that works best as a glorified frisbee... like skeet shooting.

Entertainment should not be neglected during these times of trouble. I believe this is part of maintaining your humanity. While you should also maintain respect for those who have succumbed to the zombie hordes, there is a necessary macabre humor that comes with dealing with the horror of the apocalypse. I think it is akin to what medical students do when they have to dissect a cadaver. They will joke about it, but it is not to disrespect the person who donated their body, but rather just a means of dealing with inevitable.

Max Brooks emphasizes the need for distraction during the necropalypse. When reflecting on the state of affairs, post-apocalyptically, things can get very depressing. Not only do you have to fight the moaning menace struggling to eat you, you also have to deal with the crushing weight of being one of the few, dwindling number of survivors.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


Regarding Wozgog's post, recalling the use of vinyl against two wayward zombies in Shaun of the Dead...
I don't think the use of records was particularly successful... more or less just a bit lucky and entertaining. If you really want to launch records at zombies (which, let's face it, everyone wants to throw records) it should be considered more of a deterrent, or an annoyance to the zombies. As Shaun of the Dead demonstrates, the use of the cricket bat is much more effective for actually killing them.

Though this thought does remind me of the scene in the end of Gremlins (a real classic), where the gremlins use circular saw blades as an offensive weapons. While this would probably work slightly better than vinyl, I don't think most people could generate enough force to cause serious penetration to the skull. Something denser, combined with serious training and skill, like a shuriken, would be more effective, but again may not penetrate enough to be disabling. However, this brings me to my final point:

Advice of the Day: If you are backed into a corner by a zombie, or zombies, use whatever you may have at your disposal as a weapon. Never give in, never give up.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Tragedy of It All

I don't mean to be cavalier when discussing the killing of loved ones' reanimated corpses. This is truly a terrible thing that one will encounter when the dead rise. But there is the inevitability that comes with the survival mentality.

The ultimate goal in zombie defense is to survive. However, the likelihood of this happening becomes slimmer each day into the zombie apocalypse. Instead the goal becomes surviving as long as possible. Once you accept this inevitability, destroying zombies, no matter who they once were, will become easier.

However, after you become aware of your tenuous hold on life, and more so, your need to protect that hold, the goal becomes about maintaining humanity in the face of utterly inhuman situations.

So even though you are not killing a fellow human being, and doing your part to help save humanity one zombie at a time, you should not ever forget the tragedy of it all.

Monday, October 02, 2006

The Inevitability of loved ones

I'd like to apologize for the gap in posting over the last few days. In addition to the injuries I posted about, apparently I discombobulated my spine as well. I spent the weekend healing, and now back to posting:

The hard truth of the zombie apocalypse is that you will have to kill (re-kill) loved ones once they have been converted to the undead legions. No one wants to be faced with this inevitability, but unfortunately, it is something that must be dealt with. I recommend discussing this with your loved ones prior to the undead uprising. For example, I had a sit-down conversation with my significant other about how far I will not hesitate to kill him should he be converted. I also emphasized that I expected the same from him.

Most people do not want to become zombies, as this is a fate worse than death. I am sure that any reader here shares that sentiment. So you have to remember this when confronted with shooting a loved one in the head. The ghoul that is using the body of a loved one shares nothing besides appearance with the person you cared about. In order to preserve their memory it is best to kill the zombie-version as quickly as possible.

Of course, if you are with an individual who is having difficulty disposing of a zombie version of a loved one, the compassionate thing to do would be to dispatch of the zombie yourself so that your party member doesn't have to be faced with the guilt of re-killing a loved one.

There is no hard and fast advice for taking out the zombie versions of loved ones. The best advice that I have to give is to mentally prepare yourself for this post-apocalyptic fact of life. You will have to re-kill those that you care about. This is what you would want for a zombified version of yourself; you have a duty to deliver death to any zombie you encounter, loved or not.