Monday, July 16, 2007

The gift that keeps on giving

Yesterday I was honored to receive a gift consisting of a machete that has its share of history:

It was used in botany expeditions (and may have even seen some zombie action!) and is at least fifty years old. Like any good weapon, its age does not make it obsolete. As far as its contemporary application: the machete is short (capable of close quarters combat), sturdy, and heavy enough to do a significant amount of damage, but light enough to carry at all times. I'm going to clean it up and sharpen it, and add it to my arsenal.

Here's a pic of me with my new weapon:

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Zombies, the lesser of two evils?

For reasons relating to my previous state of unemployment, I spent the entire day at court (in a completely observational capacity) at the trial for a particularly savage beating incident. Faced with the horror of real violence executed in a fashion that can only be described as evil by people who can hardly be deemed human, I seriously question my war against the undead.

Sure, it's easy to speak in absolutes when referring to something as black and white as the walking, cannibalistic undead. But there is something innocent about zombies. They have no choice in the matter, but rather are merely carriers for a virus that can only survive by creating more and more zombies. The zombies, themselves, are mere players in a far more savage play.

But what of conscientious evil? We, as humans, are capable of horrible, horrible things. It is our responsibility to maintain our humanity, and rise above any possible vicious impulses. But what of those of us who don't?

Perhaps what I am getting at with this long-winded statement brought on by an exhausting, emotional day is that though I fear the zombie apocalypse, something far more sinister is brewing amongst us living, breathing humans. Our apathy towards our fellow human beings is much more dangerous than the virus that seeks to turn us into cannibal corpses.

Perhaps I am being overly cynical. I can only hope that the court system will provide some semblance of justice, and maybe save my perception of the human race.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Sky Flowers

Given that it is the fourth of July, this is the perfect time to test to see if the "sky flowers" theory of Land of the Dead. Anyone familiar with the latest Romero entry into his zombie lexicon will remember that the zombie resistance group used fireworks to distract the zombies leaving them open to attack. Granted, this is a plot device used to illustrate the zombies' continued evolution, but I do wonder if there is some merit to using a loud, flashy distraction to open up zombies to an attack.

Of course, there is no documented evidence of this working or not working. So tonight, if you're in the US, and happen to see a zombie or zombie horde, take a moment (provided it is safe to do so) and observe the undeads' reaction to fireworks. Please report any findings here and to your local zombie resistance force.

And why we're waiting for the necropalypse, we can all look forward to Romero's next installment, Diary of the Dead.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Side Note

I am one step closer to creating a more informed public!

My book is now available at
Check it out!

Reasons the previously posted suit would be cool

I've been thinking about it all weekend and decided that the last post wasn't thorough enough, given how cool that body armor is. So,
Reasons the body armor I posted about last time would be cool:

1. Total bite protection from zombies
2. Total splatter protection (no chance of getting miscellaneous blood in your mouth or eyes)
3. Complete coverage and dark coloring makes you less apparent (visually and odorifically) to the zombie menace (though you may want to remove any identifying labels... not because zombies can read, but simply because of the color contrast) so that protection may not even be necessary as you slip through the masses undetected (remains to be tested in the field)
4. Even though I selected this armor because it is zombie-proof, it is also bullet-proof in areas, making it ideal for dealing with marauders.
5. Paired with one of those huge acrylic shields (also available from the catalog) you could totally bulldoze your way through a zombie horde

Pre-Apocalyptic Reasons the suit would be cool:
1. Instant authority!
Who is going to go against a faceless, military-esque wall of a person?
2. Always have a Halloween costume
3. Scaring children (c'mon, it's fun and you know it!)