Monday, May 22, 2006

Not a Good Monday

Ok, so apparently 250 cholesterol is in the "high risk" range. So besides being utterly shocked, I really, really have to watch what I eat.

The other bad news is my gym is closed this whole week for maintenence. What the hell, are they trying to kill me? I'm going to jog outside this week, which is very problematic because I'm practically albino, and burst into flames when I enter sunlight. So here's to jogging in the dark... which is probably better for zombie training anyway, since it's scarier. I'm sure it will be much easier to envision the zombie horde chasing me down.

I watched Resident Evil: Apocalypse yesterday. It is nowhere near as good as the first one. Despite the inconsistencies which we've already discussed (zombism source, and fast moving dogs), the first Resident Evil is a fairly good representation of the zombie menace. The contagion is the real enemy, which is very accurate, and even though the contagion is caused by the t-virus, the way that it spreads is consistent with the Zombie Survival Guide. Not to mention that Milla Jovovich kicks ass, and is an inspiration to my cause.

However, I don't think that her dress offers nearly enough protection and also has the potential to get caught on things such as chain link fences and zombies. Alice's outfit in the second movie is much more practical (though still light on the protection side).

In conclusion, I hope my ass doesn't get soft this week from lack of strenuous exercise. I do start karate next week, so that should get it right back into shape, and hopefully give me the practical skills that I desperately need.


Anonymous Slash said...

Slash's absolute favorite character from any zombie movie ever:

The black helicopter pilot from Day of the Dead.

He is the ultimate survivor. Watch how he expertly moves through a very dangerous landscape, avoiding death from both the zombies, and from the human psychopathic military guys.

Also, he does the one thing that sets him apart as the single smartest character in the history of horror films:

As he moves through the chaos at the end of the film, after the zombies have been let loose in the bunker, he stops and picks up EVERY SINGLE GUN that he runs across. When he sees a dead guy, he picks up that guys gun. Every time.

When he finally meets up with his friends, he has many extra guns to hand out, and his small group is well armed enought that they all survive. He is a shining example to us all. Always pick up all the guns. It's an axiom.

12:37 PM  

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