Monday, August 14, 2006

Zombie-related stuff this week

A lot has happened in the last week that is pertinent to zombie defense training.

I managed to lock my keys in my workspace again, and had to scale the chainlink fence, yet again. While not as fast as my second time (but much faster than my first) the need for ninja shoes has become quite clear. The shoes I was wearing at the time were completely impractical because the toe was too wide, and my feet were too fragile to scale the fence barefoot. I really need to order those shoes.

I watched a portion of a movie (for inexplicable reasons), that is by far and away the worst "zombie" movie ever. Ring of Darkness, is a complete waste of film. Obviously I knew this out from the description (something like "boy inducted into zombie boy band"). However, I was unable to resist this pile of crap. I was hoping for zombies onstage looking something like GWAR. I was sorely disappointed. The boy band wasn't even made up of real zombies, they were all healthy and not rotting.

Finally, my big news:

I have been promoted to a Yellow Belt in Karate. This involved taking a vigorous, two hour test that required me to do sets of Kihons and Katas, as well as kick and punch combos. While definitely not a violent, climatic brawl with the undead, it certainly gave me a feel for my physical limits. Accordingly, I slept for three hours immediately after my exam.

Few people realize (mostly due to Hollywood, the great deceiver) that fighting is exhausting. Unless you have actually been in a fight (I have), you don't realize how much the combination of huge amounts of adrenaline and physical activity take a toll on you. You will be exhausted afterwards. This is something to keep in mind when actually engaging with zombies. Obviously, the more zombies you can pick off sniper-style, the better it will be for you when you actually get into the physical combat. Actual hand-to-hand combat should be limited, with an escape plan always in place. It is best if you have a safe place to recuperate and refuel afterwards.

Advice of the Day: While under an adrenaline surge the human body is capable of many great things, but you don't want to be eaten in the following naptime.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

While Tabis (ninja boots) may help you scale a fence, their practicality in a zombie attack is quite dissappointing.

The section January 23rd 2243 Hours
"the thing tried to bite me through the heel of my combat boots. I gave her a hard kick to the nose and heard the cartilage snap as I hit home. I got up and stepped back, checking my heel for wounds. Thank goodness for Altama boots."
In essence, any combat or hiking boot would be preferred over Tabis. If your roundhouse is caught by the undead, they are now holding your leg as their next meal, unless properly protected...

10:21 AM  

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